Posts Tagged ‘Gwyneth Paltrow’

My Next Boyfriend is a Superhero

July 4, 2008

I’ve decided, forget Match.com, my next boyfriend will be a superhero.  With this summer’s crop of overly endowed gentleman protecting Hollywood, I feel like I have a lot to choose from.  I have never seen myself with a Hancock type–men with superhero powers from birth aren’t really my demo, always trying to reconcile their issues with someone or something from their past.  The Incredible Hulk is too angry all the time.  Come on, control your feelings muchacho.  I haven’t seen Hellboy II but I’m just guessing I won’t feel the heat from him either.

#1 Choice for My Next Boyfriend

#1 Choice for My Next Boyfriend

Iron Man however- he is so smart,  clever, and cocksure….he is seriously in the running.  Yes, he has issues, and I think he might have trouble staying out of his head, but he came up with that whole suit himself, under duress!  And his place in Malibu is magnifique!

Double dating is also a possibility. Iron Man and the Incredibile Hulk’s nemesis just met in an LA bar (looked like the new London Hotel).  If you saw IH you know what I mean.  It sounds like those two will be going at it soon in the City of Angels.   And, Hancock lives in LA too, a perfect trifecta.

No real girl threats either, really.  I mean Liv Tyler’s fake resume as a cellular bioligist will surely be found out soon so I’m not counting on her and the Hulk staying together.  Hancock’s girl can’t even get close to him or they both become mortal, and Iron Man’s Pepper Potts a.ka. Gwyneth Paltrow is likely a wet noodle in bed, I just have a feeling.

So, that leaves three potential superhero boyfriends, living in LA.  Where would one hang out?

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